BeauTea in the Shade: Why Are You So Ugly?


Let’s talk about makeup.  Let’s talk about making ourselves beautiful.  But first, why are you so ugly?  Some may reply with, “I’m not ugly! Who the hell is he talking to?!” My reply: I’m talking to YOUR ass .  I’m talking to the person who put others down to make themselves feel better. I’m talking to the person who needs to shower themselves in high-end clothing to feel beautiful. I’m talking to the person who looks in the mirror and hates what they see  because for too long someone has told them they were not beautiful .

All of these things are result of an outside force  imposing some  deranged standard of beauty on you.  Whether you are white, black, brown, and or purple you are subject to these outrageous standards.  

If you still don’t know if I’m talking to you, do any of the following statements sound like you?  “I wish I was thinner.”  “I hate that my nose is so big.”  “Why can’t I have a butt like……?”  And the one I hate the most……  “I wish I had lighter skin”

Do you really think those things will make you more beautiful?  They may make you more appealing to the eye of the majority but you still won’t be beautiful. Your beauty is determined by you, no one else.   People tend to love people who love themselves, not people who loathe themselves.  


In recent media Alicia Keys has been praised and criticized for her lack of makeup. It pains me to say this but I am loving this on her and for her. It only pains me because I am a makeup artist and I know one of my colleagues didn’t have the opportunity to get that coin. The message she is sending is far greater than any other message of false beauty standards that is placed on us.  

Now don’t get me wrong I love a good BEAT.  Hell……I deliver a great BEAT.  That doesn’t change the fact that so many makeup artists have ugly people sitting in their makeup chair everyday.  I don’t care how many Red Cherry Lashes you apply, how much Ben Nye Banana Powder you apply, or  how many coats of  NYX lip gloss you put on.  If you are ugly on the inside, no one of substance will be interested in going past a physical encounter with you.

I don’t turn down a coin so I’ll keep beating these ugly-souled people but………..Beauty Tip#1: FIX ALL THAT INNER UGLY.   It is amazing how an inner glow can enhance  an Ol’ Nasty beat.  Find your local Auntie Iyanla or your local Oprah. For some of you conservative country folk…your local Dr. Phil lol.


Take the time to invest in your inner beauty because it’s free for the most part,  you don’t always need a therapist. Just understand that my services or any other makeup artist services aren’t free. Why call someone to build these walls and put these windows on your house when your foundation is unstable?  The answer is…….for a temporary fix. Anything that a makeup artist can do is only temporary. Now that doesn’t mean stop calling your local MUA, we can still add some beauty to your inner ugly self. I’ll keep taking these appointments while sipping my Tea and throwing Shade.

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